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Love, laughter, and happiness ....
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Mar 9, 2012 11:48 pm
1666 Views
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....fills our home .... Praise God !!
I am so happy to have my son home with me. It feels like a part of me, that has been dead for a very long time, has come back to life again.
After all that 'we' have been through, over the last several years, it finally feels like everything .... every piece of the puzzle is finally fitting together properly.
I have Bait here with me, and life is not perfect, but it's a sight better than it used to be. My youngest is happy to have his older brother here, and I no longer have to worry about my 'helpless' child being mistreated !!!
Bait propposed to me - again- about 6 months ago .... lmao .... I guess one of these days we will finally get around to actually getting married. Sheesh - you know you're too dadgum busy when your too busy to get married to the man that you love !!!
We talked about it again the other night .... I think we are just gonna have to do it one day ... really spur of the moment, since that is basically how we live our lives .... and have the whole ceremony thing ... I dunno ... maybe when we're 60 !!!!! IF we have time when we're 60 !!!!!
Ah .... God is good !!!
Love you all ... talk soon .....
And the story continues ..... |
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Challenges ahead ....
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Feb 17, 2012 9:34 pm
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...were more than I had expected. I thought I would get my son home, hire someone to come and sit with him, and I would go on about my daily life as ususal.
Well, as it turns out, one of the lovely 'reforms' that our govt. has recently made to health care states that it can only be covered if the person needs a 'nurse'. My son does not need anyone with any sort of medical training - he simply needs someone to help him get out of bed, dressed, to the shower ... bath ect. OK .. so the next plan is take him to a 'day-care' type situation for disabled kids, so I can go on working ..... there is not a single one, in this town, that will take someone, if they need help going to the restroom. I couldn't believe my ears. What kind of 'disabled' person DOESN'T need help going to the restroom ?!?!?
I took him to work with me for about 3 months ... then it got to be too much for both of us - plus my employer finally said they couldn't have him coming with me, due to insurance reasons. I had to quit.
There goes some good govt. reform for ya - welfare is going broke, so let's stop paying ppl. to sit with disabled folks - and get ppl. a little further into the system.
H*ll yes I went and got on food stamps ... and medicaid ... if I didn't there is no way we could survive without my income.
OK ... off my soapbox now ... but I am still rather perturbed about the whole thing.
I am HAPPY to stay home with my son all day .... but not so happy to have to be depending on our unstable govt. to survive. I'd MUCH rather be working .....
And the story continues .... |
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What a Joyous Day ....
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Jan 8, 2012 1:40 pm
2471 Views
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....and, yet, frightening at the same time.
When my ex-husband had passed away, I naturally assumed that I would get my kids - anyone would. However, the day after his funeral, when I went to get them ....I was met with local law enforcement - who proceeded to write me a tresspass warning - and I was standing in the middle of a public street !!!
My ex had been a police officer, in our hometown for over 30 years. ( If you're doing the math - he was 18 yrs. my senior )I found out that I was being sued ( ? ) for the custody of my kids.
It occurred to me .............. will explain some more.
The day my son graduated High School ... I thought she might let him come with me then, but she didn't, of course. So, a mere 2 months later, I drove back to Texas again, but now I had to worry if that old witch had another trick up her sleeve. And worry, I did. I wouldn't even go to collect him - because of that old tresspass - my sister and my oldest son went for me. When my sister was on the phone telling her that they were about to come and get him, it seemed like she was going to cause problems - and I proceeded to start having a nervous breakdown. My sister told me she had inticipated that - and gave me some kind of pill - whatever it was - calmed me down - then knocked me smooth out !!!
It turned out she wasn't trying to prevent them, they went and got him. When they came through the door with him - it was the first time I had truly relaxed in almost 5 years.
And the story continues ..... |
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A life changing event ......
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Jan 7, 2012 5:52 pm
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....happened last August - my disabled son turned 18, and no one could tell him, any longer, that he couldn't come and be with his mother.
When his father passed away, I went through long, ridiculous, and illegal court battles, resulting in my losing custody of my sons to their grandmother.
( For the full story, search backwards in the blog )
My 18 yr. old has been wanting to come and stay with me for years now, and when he finally turned 18 I was able to go back to Texas and pick him up without worrying about being arrested - and I did just that.
It was something that Bait had known about from the beginning of our relationship, because the court battles began very shortly after we met. I have 5 children, and I told him, up front, that if any of them ever needed a place to stay, there would be no questioning it - my home would always be open to any of them.
One of our break-ups that caused me to leave Indy - ( the last one, in fact ) was because my son wanted to join us, and Bait got terrified. Understandable. But at the same time - unquestionable - my son would eventually come to live with me. He cannot live on his own - so there was never any question that he would - the only question was when ......
And the story continues ..... |
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Decision made......
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Jan 5, 2012 5:47 am
2751 Views
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When we broke up, I was miserable. I was going to continue to date people, but told them up front that I was only interested in having friendships ... my heart belonged to Bait. I did go out a few times, but I suppose I wasn't good comapny, because no one asked me out for a second time !!!
Bait was miserable without me too, apparently. I have , since, talked to his best friend, and he told me that he had never seen Bait so low. His friends encouraged him to follow his heart, and move to Florida !! Before long, he decided to do just that.
When my sister found that out , she decided to go back home to Texas ( and I was not upset about that in the least ).
He came 'home' in August of '10, and he has been here ever since. We have seen a few rough patches - it took him 3 months to find a job down here. But, he has stuck it out with me through thick and thin, and I no longer worry that he is going to bail at the first sign of trouble.
So .... happy ending ..... and then came August 2011 ....
And the story continues ...... |
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After his dad passed.....
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Dec 7, 2011 5:40 am
2791 Views
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....he surprised me with a visit. My sister was living with me, at the time, and she is my total opposite. Highly un-ladylike .... she cusses like a sailor ( because she was one ), passes gas when she takes a notion - no matter who is in the room, and has a 14 yr old chihuahua the uses the entire house for his personal restroom. Needless to say, I was not having a good life, but she needed help, and she is my sister ... what can you do ?!?!?
I could tell their relationship was going to be strained , and mine and hers wasn't doing well either.She couldn't afford to help me with any bills ( which she was running up beyond belief ), but could afford to go buy the dog $15 worth of hamburgers, because he doesn't eat 'dog' food !!!!
When he got back to Indy, he said that he didn't think he could move in with me, as long as she was here ( which I understood !! )....but that was my breaking point.
I told him I understood, but that , after four years, I was done carrying on a relationship 900 miles apart.
The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. It was time to either get together ... or give it up ......
And the story continues ..... |
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More waiting ....
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Dec 2, 2011 10:16 am
3138 Views
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Bait's family ( especially his Mom ) relied on him very heavily. Part of the reason I knew we would never be able to get him any peace of mind, unless we got him away from up there.
I understood, his father was elderly, and in bad shape. He had Alzheimer's and congestive heart failure ( which is what I had lost my daddy to ) .... so I understood why he wanted to stick around. Sadly, his dad passed in March of last year. Mr. Joseph was a wonderful man, and one of only two in Bait's family that was ever really on our side, and wanted to see us succeed. He had told Bait years before ( when he was still able to think properly ) that he should pull up and move to Fla with me.
I am glad Bait stayed though.....it gave him more time with his dad that can never be replaced ......
And the story continues .... |
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Ultimate decision .....
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Nov 30, 2011 9:38 am
3050 Views
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....so we are back in Florida again. I figured , since my daughter had lost my apartment, it was only fair that I move in with HER this time. It wasn't a great situation .... but it was a roof.
It took about a month this time, but Bait was back on the phone again. I was already talking to other people, and going on with my life. I missed him , and I certainly wasn't serious about anything, but I will never forget one call in particular.
I was talking to him, and he was still 'on the fence' as to what he wanted to do. I told him I had to go, because I had a date that night. Long silence fell on the other end of the line. I told him I would talk to him the next day, and he said "Wait!". He asked me to cancel the date. I told him I wouldn't, unless he was serious about joining me in Florida.
I had moved back and forthe from Indiana enough to know that it wasn't for me. One winter up there was all I needed !! ( how people survive that year after year is beyond me )
He said he was serious, so I did cancel the date ..... and we were back on again. |
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More of the story ....
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Nov 26, 2011 4:04 pm
3130 Views
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So ...Bait drives down right before Thanksgiving in '08 and picks us up.
I was loving being back up there with him. We had gotten an apartment ...right before I left, so we had a place to go this time. That is MOST important, by the way, in case you are considering doing this !!! I had already helped him decorate it some. The only thing I didn't like about it was the stairs !!!
So, I got there just in time for the Holidays, and I loved it !! I decorated the apartment, cooked wonderful meals, and got him up each night to go to work. I was working during the day, and he was pulling graveyard shifts. And that would eventually be our downfall.
After nine months of trying to take care of lil man during the day, and working all night ... he got over-tired, impatient, and overwhelmed. He wanted me to leave again.
I stood there at the moving van ... he had already kissed lil man goodbye, and got him belted in. He wrapped his arms around me, and I thought he wasn't going to let go. I wasn't crying ... this time ...I was ready to leave and let him get himself together. I knew it was very hard on him ... he wasn't getting enough sleep, and that will take it's toll on anyone. I know what it is like to take care of a child, and trying to do that after working all night is NO fun !!
As we were leaving Indy ... my lil man looks at me and said " We aren't ever coming back here, are we Momma ??" ... I told him no ... we weren't.
And the story continues ..... |
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Misery - multiplied .....
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Nov 23, 2011 6:49 am
3329 Views
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So .... I come back to Florida, but , by this time, my daughter had moved in with her significant other, and had let my apartment ( and all of my worldly possesions ) go. Yep.....I had lost everything that I owned, practically. All my furniture, my kitchen appliances,pots,pans,washer .....in short -EVERYTHING !!! Plus, I had sold my car to make the trip to Indy in the first place.
The baby and I moved into a dumpy apt. with a girlfriend of mine. The place was loaded with black mold .. the carpet was disgusting ... it smelled like animals , and it was in a horrible neighborhood. But, it was a roof over our heads.
I seem to recall, it took only about two weeks, and Bait was on the phone with me again.
Now... I am sure, at this point, you must think I am crazy for ever talking to him again, but he was going through some 'life changes' that I understood completely - because I had 'been there-done that'. And besides, I loved him.
And the story continues ...... |
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